Hello out there in TV-land

I would like to take a minute to talk about the Safeway (the local grocery chain) by my house. It's worth talking about because it probably has the highest per capita level of pajama bottom clad patrons in North America.

I live in an odd neighbourhood.

And it isn't just late at night or early in the morning that such customers abound. I mean, yeah, it would be understandable if I was doing my shopping at midnight. The odd pair of late night snack seeking flannel bottoms would be expected.

But this is at like 6 in the evening. 3pm on a Saturday. Doesn't matter when. There's always at least one person wandering around with messy hair, pajamas and maybe a ski-jacket hastily tugged on over top.

Who are these people?

At least they're benign. I have yet to see a pajama wearer get into a fist fight, scream at another customer, or recklessly deface the merchandise. They just wander around the frozen food section with dazed looks in their eyes and sometimes trip over their untied shoe laces.

In comparison to another species, the tight blue jean, three day shadow with a moustache crowd, pajama wearers are the perfect customer. Tight blue jeans, three day shadow with a moustache is a bad scene. I try to steer clear of them. On friday night for example, I walked through the main doors of the Safeway to the sight of pizza pops and frozen burritos strewn across aisle 9, many of them torn open to leave an ugly potpourri of melting tomota cheese sauce and baked bean guts mushed into foot prints on the floor.

It was gross.

I knew it had to be a tight blue jeans, three day shadow with a moustache. And it was. I got a glance at him in the backseat of the cop car as I left.

So the pajama people - they're ok. Just watch out for them when they're tripping over their shoes. But tight bluejeans, three day shadow and a moustache - you have to remember they probably just came down from their binge and are seeing the sun for the first time in 3 days. So they're a little owly. Its best to steer clear of them altogether.
- posted by Sigurd2/14/2005 11:59:00 AM