i cherish myself. i have to stop. i never used to, i used to think i was dead. it all changed though, i'm not sure when, somehow when i started working for myself and making money for myself and having nothing better to do then do things for myself, i kind of fell into it. i never even realised it.

it happens even when you're out there saving the world. before you know it you start caring a lot about yourself. you didn't used to. you used to not give a damn. you were happier then. there were no expectations. now you feel crappy, because inevitably life isn't up to the expectations, and so the thing you cherish always sucks in comparison.

i have to stop cherishing myself. its not doing any good for anyone. but i don't want to be dead again. that's no good either. i have to find something else to cherish. but what?

a person? a god? starbucks coffee? that cute girl at the pizza joint?

i need refuge.

- posted by Sigurd12/27/2003 11:07:00 AM