'Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so make it so?'

I suppose that really, if we are going to get to the bottom of this fuddle, we might as well face up to it and admit that we will, oh we will, have to answer that in its turn.

But it turns so goddamn quickly.

Sigh... shut up please. Enough with the mongering...

Because well, if these gods and devils really are in our gut, and it just so happens that by some terrible chance the proper procedure has not yet been perfected to detect these beasts, then I guess its up to us to make them in the image that we choose.

But what do we choose?

I choose now.

But what is that? How can you choose now? What in the good lord's name does that mean.

I say it means nothing. Now is nothing.

And then they scoff and the crowd boos and disperses back into their tragic shacks. A few shouts of 'snakecharmer' are heard above the din. When they are gone there is little but dirt in front of me; I am left with only the dust bowls of an empty street, stretching out to the sunset of that inevitable horizon.

Still though, I say it. I hesitate at first, I think of turning around and heading back to that little house in the suburbs to catch a quick lunch and be back to work by 1. But I don't go. I don't and can't and its just too late.

'Fuck it' I mutter under my breath.

And then I say it. And I don't say it meekly. I say it with conviction. I say it without fear. I say it as though my bones were already dust, as though my blood had been already boiled, as though my soul were already free.

So yeah, I say it, but I don't yet believe it.

Yet.
- posted by Sigurd1/19/2005 09:37:00 PM