Why i shouldn't swear

I would like to take a moment to point out the difference between literal and figurative in their common use. To say something literally means to describe your subject as it actually exists. To say something figuratively is to use some sort of comparison, a metaphor, an analogy, any of the sort, to describe your subject.

So when you say that the fat guy sitting next to you is literally eating like a pig, you are speaking incorrectly. Because its not literal. You are, in fact, making a fool of yourself. For unless the guy has his nose in a trough and is shitting out the other end as he eats, its not literal.

And above all, it really doesn't make a lick of sense when you say 'and I mean that both literally and figuratively.' You're not being subtle and intelligent by saying that. You're not. Nobody is wondering whether that the juco degree on your wall is really a harvard diploma. When you say this, the only thing you're being subtle about is in pointing out that you're a idiot. So stop doing this. Please.

- posted by Sigurd8/11/2004 11:11:00 PM